Friday
Went to dear’s workplace at Brewrekz for his friend’s, Amelia, Birthday. Well, I met almost all of his colleagues. Cos he brought me to see most of his colleagues.haa.I’ve got a cute bf eh. Food there wasn’t that bad. I still prefer their beer thought. I like one of the beers with fruit. I forget what the name is. I’d only know they’ll have different flavors each month or something. haa. Anyways, his friends were nice. Nice meeting them. The birthday gal is nice-looking and lean! Felt a little bit of threat. haa.but, with dear’s assurance of his love towards me I felt a little better..keke.

Next, head back to his house. yeah~! mummy has officially allows me to go over to his house. but I guess not on a frequent basis. It won’t be nice to stay over so often. Though he said that his mum is rather open but I guess somehow it’s not very nice to go so habitually. But..but..I love his company! I love him so much!!


Saturday
Woke up very early. Slept ard 3am and was awaken up by my body clock on 7.30am.Went back to slp and woke up again an hour later.Head was aching so I went back to slp again. But my body clock alert me that it’s time to wake up.It was only 9.15am.haa.Dear’s still slping soundly on his mattress. Didn’t wake him up as he’ll be working later in the afternoon. It seems so much like a Sunday for me. Saturday use to be a day for us down town or something,But this Saturday, he’ll be working.It’s all my fault? Cos planned to meet up bro n friends for his 29th birthday! Haa.But was cancelled cos Raine has some event at Sentosa.

Went to Compass point for PIZZA HUT!! Pizzas are still the best at Pizza Hut. Yummy~!! Keke.Then head back home ard 3pm to study.GOD!! it’s so boring. Study all the way till night,but of cos there’s distractions.i only went through a few pages of my notes.

Was kinda upset with HIM. Well it’s bout weight issue. I guess he din mean it but the way he put it makes me feel that he mind the way I look. Ie. Being so fleshy. Suddenly, I have very low self esteem. so low that you can’t imagine. I feel so FAT and UGLY. I know I’ve put on a lot of weight this year,but nevertheless I’ve manage to shed 2~3 kg, back to the max I used to way. There’s still a long way more to go.Sigh, How I wish I can eat all I want and not grow FAT!! I hate it. Anyways,he apologize and explained that he dun mean what he say. Ya, I agree I’m totally sensitive over this issue. Cos I know I’m fat and I dun like anyone to make me feel even worst when I already know the fact.


Sunday
Went for my tax lesson today. Was good. Managed to have all information digested Cos I had a long hour of slp last night? Haa.Slept pretty early last night. Din talk to HIM cos I’m drained!

I’m missing him so much today. Cant stop thinking of him.Sigh.He’s working today, so I cant meet him up.Well, each of us has an agenda in life to fulfill.

Met mummy and the rest at Bugis. Felt kinda upset by an incident. Mummy wanted to change this present was suppose to be a gift for our new 3rd aunt but due to the fact that all relatives din give, she decided to go back to get it change with something else for anyone of us. She did ask if I want THAT but I told her it’s okie. Bcos it’s expensive I din want her to waste money.

Deep down, I hope to own it so much. I know it’s only a matter of time to get it. But each time I pass by I hope i’ll own it, one day. No one knows how much I want it. Mummy, went to buy for er jie instead. I felt rather sadden. Er jie already had one. But bcos hers was very fragile and it almost broke so Mummy got her another type which is more ‘durable’. Though er jie insist that I should be the one to buy it, I rejected.

Well, I’m someone who needs lots of love and attention. Even till now, at the age if 21 (turning 22 very soon) I’m still like a little ting who loves to be dote by mummy. However, I know it’s difficult to balance out the love to all when you’re a mother of 5. Sigh.Sometimes it’s not nice, in way, to tell her that I’m attached cos she’ll divert her love to someone else who needs it more. That’s how I perceive sometimes. Nevertheless, thinking of having HIM by my side does help comfort the gloom in me. I miss him so much I hope I can see him right now at this moment and have a big hugz from him.

I used to pray to God that, if HE’s the one I hope, we have an everlasting relationship. But now, I pray that we’ll have an everlasting relationship and hope he’ll love me the way he has always been and of cos to thank him for all that I have today.

I never know I’ll feel so much for him. So much that I’ve been missing him in almost everything I do. It’s not a good sign. Cos it’ll hurt more when things doesn’t go right. I hold very high expectation from him, sometimes. Cos he has been really nice to me b4 the time we get together. But so far he yet to disappoint me. I’m so blessed to have his love towards me. Sometimes, I think it’s rather amazing to have someone so much in love with you. But whether it last is a matter of question. I hope it does. Cos coming to think of losing it, makes my heart hurt quite a fair bit. I duno how will it be like to be without him.

He has become my pillar of strength. LOVE HIM TRUCK LOADS!!

Well, still waiting for him to ko..wanna talk to him so much~!!