My heart’s crying… really wanna cry when he told me about his past, the life he have now and how he deceived himself that he can’t stay with us due to the restrain of space. He said it’s really bored back at JB. He doesn’t have anything to do back there.(at least he’s working now. Hope the job won’t stop so he can really kill his time)

Scolded him at times for drinking but I can understand sometimes cos he’s being too lonely. That bottle of alcohol can, in a way, accompany him. I guess his sole mate will be that can of ‘Drink’. He said he has been alone since he’s young so now, it’s nothing unusual. Went back to my grandma at the age of 17, cos he was taken care by his grandma since young. Ever since then, he came to spore to work as a trainee and earn $5/ day. I dunno how much it worth at that time, but he said it’s not a lot. Later, he gets to know mummy and from the expression of his, I can really see how happy he was when he reminisce those old good times. Consoled him but I guess it won’t help at all.

I truly wish he can come back HOME and stay with us. SO everyone will be united .I have been praying for YEARS to let this happen. I’ve let this as part of my bday wish every single year w/o failed. But it always seems to be an unfilled wish. Will that be a wish that will never ever happen again?

I felt really bad for not accompanying them (er jie, shan n pa) to tpy. But I did tell him to come out next week as he’s has been wanting to visit to THE UNDERWATER WORLD.Well, we’ll see how things goes.

felt really bad at times for carrying branded stuff, bad for dining at nice restaurants, bad for any and everything that I enjoyed in life. Cos my beloved pa isn’t doing good. He don’t buy drinking water and drank form the TAP IN MALAYSIA. Do you know how dirty the water is from MALAYSIA. If you’re drinking straight from Spore’s I wont give a damn but it’s M’sia!Now, his throat sore. His voice changed. Initally, he thought he had some sort of cancer and he used to hinted that he may be gone for good soon. Gave me his pin number for his ATM card and all. But I’m glad he came back to Spore and make a trip to Bangkok for doctor. I’m so relieved when I heard frm sis that it’s just virus infection and am glad that his voice is getting back to norm. Really thank god for it!

Still rem vividly, after the tele-conversation with dad , I broke down. Somehow he made me cried. But then er jie found me crying and I told her bout how bad I felt. But she said at least we did our part in remitting him money every now and then when he doesn’t have enough. Well, I guess that’s the only way to make me feel better.

Hope he’ll love himself more to take good care of himself…

On a separate note, I’m really happy that er jie bought a hand cream for me. (cos I've been complaining to her on ah-ma-hands) It’s really sweet of her eh. My hands look thirties or even older. I guess it’s due to the air-conditioned office and all. Well, now I understand why some gals fall for gals. Cos they’re too sweet to be true. Guys can never as thoughtful as gals.