My actions don’t speak what’s on my mind. Or rather, I can’t make up my mind on what I really want. Or that I knew what I want but I’m just being silly for having all this stuff going on. Even knowing that he emailed faye in nov, I still met him up yesterday. He knock off at 9 so we mit ard 10.30 and head dwn town for Sherlock homes. I know I shouldn’t have lie on his shoulder upon his request as I’m feeling tired. I know I shouldn’t have clinch onto his hand and …. Everything seems so wrong. Is he worth my trust again? Can I really trust him that he will change and that he really wanna settle down? I am missing him badly. Heart is aching again. =(