Eversince I got the news of myself needed to find another job.I'm lost.I've done my best in making the best of the job & try to make myself a better executive here.But things wasn't going my way.I felt kinda shitty.I wanted to tear when i heard the news last week.But i controlled.the tears are just like the traffic light which had turned red refraining it from going b4 turning green.

I told myself, it may be a good news in disguise as God may want me to concentrate on something else(which i think ,in this case,my studies) or God feels that I'm not very happy working in this environment.Wateva it is, i believe,everything happen for a reason and that God wants the best out of me.But sometimes i fear. i fear if it's the best for me as I've done many bad things?!?i mean who have not done anything bad to anyone b4?

I cry myself to slp the day i received the news.I even quarrelled with him saying that he doesn't care for me.everything seems to screw up.Even now, i feel so insecure.I feel that he no longer love me as before.I noe he still do, but somehow, his actions and the devil in me tells me that he doesn't.I'm am someone,who seriously need tons n tons of care n love from my loved ones.I love my mummy and him so much.Not forgetting my sisters who are there for me when I break the news to them. They literally meet me up at potong KFC to discuss about it.I love them.Even my bf doesn't do that.(Excuse I gave myself to comfort was that,he's busy with his assignment due the next day)

Sometimes, i feel that i have no one to turn to.My bf isn't someone to turn to when u needed advise.He's only a gd listening ear.But i'm gald he's so optimistic.He's a happy go lucky person.but sad to say,i'm not.Peggy told me that I have to be more optimistic bcos all good things will eventually come to you if u feel tt way.I feel that ever since i got attached to him,i'm happier.but i'm getting lazier and duno what i want in life.all i wanna do is to meet him and revise my sch work.there's no drive in me.there's no motivation in me.everything in me for sucess is gone.i need all them back.I want us to be a couple to have done so many interesting activities rather than just pure shopping,movie,tv-ing,rotting and ktv.

All i hope now is to find a 3 month contract job at least they can offer a good $1.8k to $2k compared to a temp staff of pathetic $7ph.I've decided to concentrate on my studies and take up contract job durin the non-exam period.All the best to myself!