已经一年了。。到地要己个一年才能把你给望了。想你已经成了一种习惯。。

I doubt u ever miss me like i do..its so unfair..

This is the only avenue to say wat i think n miss of him..its gg to b a yr n i still cant get u out of my mind.just dreamt tt u text me.i was awoken by my alarm clock n didnt manage to c.

Sigh.god,pls gimme strength to go thru all these..pls take the misses n love away frm me..

Getting kinda sian.gotta start mugging for exam le..feel so much like gg out!!;（
Felt lonely at times too.dunoo wat m i living for.sigh.so much thoughts but always didnt blog it dwn..

很想text你 。。可是我知道这么做很傻。。但我真的好想好想你哦。。;(

I miss u so much.. ;( really hope to see you again, it’s not something that cant be done. But I know I shouldn't cos I will be traumatized again.sigh...

I’ve got a surprise this morning. Lousie came to me and said, “jo, you’ve got a gift at the door.” I was like well, it must be some vendors or stuff. To my surprise, it was a men carrying a bouquet(Dozen) of pink roses. O.M.G ! O.M.G! my heart was pounding real fast. The silly me thought it was from HIM. MY WISHFUL THINKING! Anw, it was from J. and the card also mentioned bout punctuation thingy. Thus, I know who is that from. Jere is really sweet, he even bought 6 Portuguese egg tart for my breakfast. It’s a lot! For one’s breakfast, so more of sharing with my dept. he even send another separate card to my house personally. How sweet. He got no ill intention. He just wanna thank me for being sucha good listening ear and advisor to him.haha.

Sigh.though it's surprise to receive gift,it also send another message to me. I’ve NOT let it go. I’m STILL PINNING HOPE! Y DO I EVEN HOPE THAT THE FLOWERS WERE FROM HIM! HE WILL NEVER DO THAT. JOJO,WAKE UP. MOVE ON! U DON’T NEED SOMEONE LIKE KWANG..STOP PINNING HOPE ON HIM. YOU KNOW YOU GUYS CAN’T BE TOGETHER ANY MORE, Y KEEP LOOKING ARD HOPING TO BUMP ONTO HIM? Y DO U EVEN THINKIN OF HIM EVERY SINGLE DAY WITHOUT FAIL. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Is missing him a sign that I’ve not let it go? I guess not. I really miss him loads. I specially came online today, like now. Cos the other week, I was talking to him online too. Sigh. Is it true that we’ve got to use the same amount of time we use to love the person to forget them? If that is the case, I need 2 yrs - the no. of yrs we got tog.

I’ve this silly thought that perhaps when I see him online again, I might give him my new number since I feel I can move on n not be affected by him. but I dropped the idea. I was so silly. He didn’t even make much effort in getting my number y shld I even initiate to give him. jokes! All I know is, he tried asking ling but she refused. Ling didn’t speak to me about it. But well, I know she wan me good.

Ya all along I have been praying to god when we r tog that we will be this n that.. but perhaps god deem that we’re not suitable for one another yet.so separation was good for now. I cant deny that I still love him. I cant deny that I still want to be with him again. But I know, whatever the outcome is,god wants the best for me. He put me thru these tests to make me a stronger person. All I need to do is to pray for strength to pull thru this tough times…


the hatred,the anger,the denials has subside..i feel that i can once again pray for him..though he has done me wrong, i still want the best for him.i will continue to keep u in my prayers, kwang...i hope god will guide u and bring the best out of you.

Vincent & I planned to the national museum on sat to see the Quest for Immortality - The world of Ancient Egypt. But was all ruin due to some technical failure n stuff. We’re that unlucky! Ever since they started this in Dec'09, this is the first time it got to close due to technical failure - I guess it's the aircon that is failing. Cause the whole museum is sizzling hot. I've not been to the national museum I think it shld be air conditioned. But the place is just so humid. It's like sauna lah. Nonetheless, since we've alr made a trip there, we went to tour ard the museum - some free exhibition. It was interesting. Many retro stuff. An eye-opener!

After which, bro came along and we head to Liang court for some jap food then party world for KTV! I've finally agree to go! I've overcome the fear and stuff. I was high on jasmine green tea(laughs). Everyone thought the staff put some alochol in it. For a moment I doubted myself too. Whether I was really that high and fool ard. But well, I was high. I don’t have to doubt. Anw, I went to delicate the song which I used to be an idol of him. I sang and I got a bit emo. I miss him. But I don’t cry bcos of it.

I was about to write in my blog that I've overcome all the obstacle.
But u know what? I went online yest night and he came online too. He ping me.I wanted to ignore but u know me! I replied in the end. He asked for my number. He hope that I can wait for him. He said he's mentally tired. No longer physical. He's very busy at work and don’t even have time to rest. Anw, I knew the cuttlefish was from him. I knew it! He asked if things were going to change if he start doing things from today. He hope for us to be back together again. Thank you god for the strength u has given me. I don’t cry after a conversation with him. I manage to sleep well. But I can’t deny that I'm pinning hope. I love and would like to do many other things together with him. But I know it wont happen and I will never let it happen. As I say this, my heart aches. I hope he can leave me alone and let things be it.

God, I know you put me thru these for a reason. To make me a stronger person to face a bigger challenge in life.