I try not to write about him. Cos the more I do the more I dwell in it. But really got the urge to write about it for the past few days but well,lazy or no time. I wanna quit looking around whenever I'm out hoping for a chance to bump onto him. The pain is no longer there. I do not cry due to the pain in me. I cry merely for the misses. Why do we cry when we miss? Funny creature.

Sometimes,seeing people happily in love makes me wanna love again. I did imaging myself being with someone.But the thought of betrayal, cheating, flirting and stuff just come out of my mind. Love is an amazing yet scary thing. I really hope there will not be cheating, betrayal among relationships. It's something so hurtful that one needs a 'million' years to heal. Y is it so unfair. I'm sure he's good and moving on. Y am I still crying over the lost of him.The things and hurt he has done to me? Silly me!!They are meeting Han later. But Ling n I are not joining. Yes , Ling has a valid reason. But me? Laughs. I just cant. The sight of him remind so much of kwang.

I'm thankful I've vincent and bro there for me like, always. Thank you god for having these friends in my life to hold me when i'm down.. As u know some frens come u go, I know they are the ones to stay...Vincent is really sweet. He bought me toothpaste cos I told him I've got weak gums after the dental visit last week. How sweet.

What you feel,you can heal.

Met up with Cake yest. He brought me to Le Bar - a ktv pub along Selegie Road. He's such an ass. He knew I can't sing for now,due to those emotional unstable-ness in me. He still brought me there. Initially I thought i'll be good. I'm wrong. Pple sang & I sang too. the moment Araon kok song came, my heart shattered. i nearly broke down. i dunno if it's the alochol that makes me emo or the songs or just me myself.

I still detest guys going to those ktv pubs n stuff.I always link it to them having to hook gals there. if ever my guy goes,i think i'll go suspicious like a mad cow. i hope the next one doesnt club,doesn't pub.just stay home!

i hate it. i hate crying to slp again. i hate having to think of him,hate dreaming of the things i wanting to happen but fails. i hate that he lied and said no matter wat,he'll have ways to contact me.

i've been waiting?haven't I? the other day when my house phone rang, i thought it's him. my heart sank.it's jie fu (WZ) lah. he stumbled and at that moment i thought it's him. fuck. i'm not any happier. nothing can make me happy. i hate the emo me. just stay off before my emo turn u off.

xing nian yi dian ye bu kuai le..

Depressed. I really feel like giving everything up and just end the misery. I’m sick n tired of my life. Trying to move on and not feeling sad about things I shouldn’t and people that is not worth it. I’m just a lousy, AP, self-centered and whatever kind of person. So many flaws, then what’s the point of living and waste the resources in this lovely earthy world. I’ve enough of all those dreams. How would it be like if he knows his mistakes have caused a life?

Yes, I cant shop anymore. There’s no room to put all my clothes. Everyone’s complaining that I bought the most, eating into EVERYONE’s space. It has been something that makes me happy. What’s the point of living when all these nitty gritty thingy which me happy cant be done anymore? It’s not about not being able to shop anymore it’s about everything. Everything about my life is just so imperfect.

I don’t know what I want in life. Attaining ACCA is just something that I have to do to survive in the society. Something that I think I’m more interested in as compared to the other industry. What’s life all about? I don’t think I’ve done a good one for the past 24 years. Can I start everything all over again? From one?

I dreamt tat he's attached.....i always wanna avoid talking about him.m i doing the right thing?

Anw,i really miss u tonnes..