Am I being too silly or forgiving?

Anw, year end closing has finally been put to an end. To reward the hard work, we’re given time off for 30th and 31st! thought I’m back today, it’s only for a while so yep going to have fun later! Ktv and movie !

I’ll be silly just for today okay?

avatar was awesome! caught it with jas yesterday. heard that it is nice but i dont wanna hold too much expectation. but i really have to admit that it's the best movie ever! i'm going to catch it for the 2nd time this wed!! went bbq at jesselyn's hse yest and am glad kerlyn's hubby fetch me to and fro.so nice. but we only stayed for half an hr. we're there to show face and off we go.lolx.

i miss him badly.my mind is full of him.we've been texting rather frequently, lately.he promised to be the idea one for me if we'll to be back tog one day.he never dare to promise initially when we broke up.but this time i felt that he is ready to make the change and be a better person to cherish me. but he felt stressed facing my family again(that's when we're to be tog one day.i seriously have no idea if it's going to ever happen.).i'm sure everyone hates him.sigh. while texting,he sounds like he had actually done a lot of thinking about our future n all.perhaps he might have changed ?

i love his company,the time spend with him n all but it all seems impossible now due to many factors that is refraining this from happening =( i never haf someone who makes me feel really comfortable with. as in to explore new places and stuff.he's the one that i wanna do al these with.. =(

Merry christmas WORLD! =) I felt the joy on this season of giving. Received many more presents than before! ^.^ spend the eve with bro n bestie. But bro left us for ktv. Thus, bestie brought me to park view or something - the one with 4 statues at the top of the building. Anw, it’s a nice chill out place. Very quiet and the ambience is good. They barely have 5 customers when we arrived there at 11. What I like was the waitress who dressed in a fairy-like costume and fly up to get the wine that you order. Interesting aye!

Got a call from Eric at 12 sharp! how sweet! Got another surprise call too - It’s from kwang. I seriously never have the thought that he’ll call and speak to me. Well, he did and we spoke for 9 good minutes. Felt kinda bad letting bestie waiting there. Anw, the conversation wasn’t that bad. He still cares for me. I felt it. I’m happy that we’re acting as if nothing happens. But will this last long? As in will I be able to let go of what he did and befriend with him again?

To be frank, on a xmas day like this, I felt more lonely than ever. It reminds me that he’s no longer in my life. We’re n longer an item. We wont be spending Christmas like how we used to. I’ve got a few dates on this day but I rejected it all. i don’t like being lonely but I wont even wanna make it seems like I’m finding a replacement of kwang to spend this day with. Thus, I spend it with my family! Went 313@somerset with mummy and er jie. Shop abit and bought lingerie. It was freaking pack! Too pack to be true. I never see this kinda crowd in orchard before on a xmas day. Or perhaps of the new shopping malls that actually attracts the consumers.
Anw, work has been very hectic! Been working late . very late ever since my exam ends. I don’t hate working but I just need some time to myself to do my own stuff. 24 hours is not enough!!! Brought back work to do and I’m going to work on Sunday! Works getting more politic. hate politics!! Everyone seems to be putting a facade mask.

To side track a bit, kwang n I text again today. In one of the conversation, he asked if we can start all over again. Seriously, the feeling he gave me is that he don’t wanna be single and he don’t need me. He just wants me back. I never felt how important I am to him. All I know is I’m still holding the love I’ve for him. I know its easy to get back together again. All I have to do is to accept him. But the greatest challenge is to face my family, my loves ones, the trust I’ve for him and many others. I think I’m being too good to him to befriend him?!? Everyone makes mistake..can one mistake just put one to death sentence? Vexed. I know there’s many guy out there. So much better than him. but I just cant bear to let it go. . .will anyone forgive your partner if he/she betrayed and cheat on you.....?

Woohoo!!!exams are finally over! Yes,it’s over!! got to get back at work tml, and it’s going to be a hectic one.going to burn my weekend at work too.it will be over soon.! Anw, paper P3 was pretty easy, I feel.I’ve managed to complete most of the questions,unlike the previous time when I left a good 21 marks out and failed by 4 pathetic marks! I hope the things I’ve applied are correct and those that I don’t, seems all like comprehension.haa.anw,am praying hard that I’ll pass this time round and not retake again.

I’m missing kwang again. He came back into my life again- virtually and emotionally. He starts with the usual texting – the birthday wish, the normal ‘how-am-I’ stuff, the good luck for my exams. It’s all like a cycle. The breakoff> the contacts> the patch up>the breakoff again> the contact again> so will the pattern follows like the previous one all over again? I seriously have no idea of wat I’m doing. I noe I shouldn’t even have replied and be friend him all over again when I have more or less moved on. He might be keen to befriend and possibly hoping that I will accept him back again one day since there’s no other chick that he can hook on for the time being. Sigh..

He may never know how much he had hurt me. He may only know how wrong he had done and that it was a one night mistake. He may never know how much I’d loved him all this while. Whenever I look back at the fotos we took, there’s a few stages in our r/s where I felt that we are drifting and that we’re on the rock. And I’m always worrying that he may leave me anytime soon. Always trying to do different thing when we mit so that he will not get bored of me. Wat else can I do to make one stay? Cant someone just stay by me for long? Am I really that bad that you have to leave or do things that force me to leave you….
Okay, I noe I’m emo-ing again….fuck!