m.o.o.d.y..Feeling freaking MOODY today.No doubt it's a monday! argh..can i think of something to make me happier..damn.tok to dear on the phone and somewhat feel weird.cos of his tone or somthing tt makes me feel that he's very tired/sian/unhappy.i guess it's bcos he jus woke up..argh..sianz

My heart’s crying… really wanna cry when he told me about his past, the life he have now and how he deceived himself that he can’t stay with us due to the restrain of space. He said it’s really bored back at JB. He doesn’t have anything to do back there.(at least he’s working now. Hope the job won’t stop so he can really kill his time)

Scolded him at times for drinking but I can understand sometimes cos he’s being too lonely. That bottle of alcohol can, in a way, accompany him. I guess his sole mate will be that can of ‘Drink’. He said he has been alone since he’s young so now, it’s nothing unusual. Went back to my grandma at the age of 17, cos he was taken care by his grandma since young. Ever since then, he came to spore to work as a trainee and earn $5/ day. I dunno how much it worth at that time, but he said it’s not a lot. Later, he gets to know mummy and from the expression of his, I can really see how happy he was when he reminisce those old good times. Consoled him but I guess it won’t help at all.

I truly wish he can come back HOME and stay with us. SO everyone will be united .I have been praying for YEARS to let this happen. I’ve let this as part of my bday wish every single year w/o failed. But it always seems to be an unfilled wish. Will that be a wish that will never ever happen again?

I felt really bad for not accompanying them (er jie, shan n pa) to tpy. But I did tell him to come out next week as he’s has been wanting to visit to THE UNDERWATER WORLD.Well, we’ll see how things goes.

felt really bad at times for carrying branded stuff, bad for dining at nice restaurants, bad for any and everything that I enjoyed in life. Cos my beloved pa isn’t doing good. He don’t buy drinking water and drank form the TAP IN MALAYSIA. Do you know how dirty the water is from MALAYSIA. If you’re drinking straight from Spore’s I wont give a damn but it’s M’sia!Now, his throat sore. His voice changed. Initally, he thought he had some sort of cancer and he used to hinted that he may be gone for good soon. Gave me his pin number for his ATM card and all. But I’m glad he came back to Spore and make a trip to Bangkok for doctor. I’m so relieved when I heard frm sis that it’s just virus infection and am glad that his voice is getting back to norm. Really thank god for it!

Still rem vividly, after the tele-conversation with dad , I broke down. Somehow he made me cried. But then er jie found me crying and I told her bout how bad I felt. But she said at least we did our part in remitting him money every now and then when he doesn’t have enough. Well, I guess that’s the only way to make me feel better.

Hope he’ll love himself more to take good care of himself…

On a separate note, I’m really happy that er jie bought a hand cream for me. (cos I've been complaining to her on ah-ma-hands) It’s really sweet of her eh. My hands look thirties or even older. I guess it’s due to the air-conditioned office and all. Well, now I understand why some gals fall for gals. Cos they’re too sweet to be true. Guys can never as thoughtful as gals.

Benefits of Using a Steam Room

A steam room is an enclosed room which is made warm and humid by use of a heater and steam. Many saunas can be used as steam rooms, although caution must be taken with the temperature to ensure that bathers are not scalded. Most steam rooms are kept at a warm ambient temperature, and the steam is increased with the use of water thrown onto a heating element. Many spas and gyms have steam rooms for the use of their clients, who sometimes find them refreshing after a workout.

A steam room has a physiological effect on the body which is very similar to that of a sauna. The steam opens up the pores, increases the metabolism, elevates the heart rate, and the body begins to sweat. This can result in health benefits, especially when a steam room is used safely and frequently. Some spas have also introduced the use of aromatherapy in their steam rooms, to provide additional health benefits and relax clients.

The warm, moist air increases the body's circulation and also loosens and relaxes muscles and joints. After a workout, a session in the steam room will help to keep the body relaxed and flexible, so that it will not lock up as a result of hard exercise. The steam room will also help the body eliminate toxins, forcing them out through the resulting sweat. The skin will be cleaner, softer, and healthier, especially if an exfoliating scrub is used in the steam room to remove the outer layer of dead skin.

Steam rooms are also very helpful for people who suffer from asthma and respiratory conditions. The dry heat of a sauna is sometimes too intense for the lungs to handle, and the gentler moist heat of a steam room helps to relax and open up the lungs and bronchial tubes. In addition, a steam room can help to reduce joint pain and the symptoms of arthritis. After a session in a steam room, the bather usually feels more relaxed, which can help to reduce problems related to insomnia and poor sleeping.

To steam safely, the bather should take a warm shower before entering the steam room. Stay seated in the steam room for up to 15 minutes before exiting to cool off with room temperature air and cool water in the form of a shower or plunge. Allow the body to return to a normal temperature before embarking on another round, and do not steam more than three times in one session. Lots of water should be consumed throughout the process and the bather should exit if he or she feels dizzy, nauseous, or uncomfortable at any point. As a steam room is not healthy for some medical conditions, a doctor should be consulted before using one.

Hmm...i SHOULD VISIT CALIFORNIA SOON!!!!

Sigh. The financial issue is being brought up again. It’s all with me. All sources come from me. I don’t understand why, I just don’t like to have the feeling that he doesn’t have $.

Both hurt.

But it’s when I know how much I love him. Cos I felt pain in my heart when he’s sad. I felt so miserable. I feel sick now..He can’t slp last night. Felt really bad for causing us to be like this. All this issue just comes naturally when he gave me that impression. He said he’s been trying hard not to make me feel tt way and have been working as much as he can. When I saw what he wrote to me. I felt soooo much a sinner. He loves me so much that he can give in to me and scarify so much for me. How will I find another one who can love me as much as he does? I’ll treasure this relationship dear….

Went back home after work. Boy, it was pouring heavily like never before. I’m glad Eann call me to bring brolly else I’ll soaked to the skin. Hate waiting for bus 133 during evening time. The frequency is like 15mins! Bus 107 is likewise in the morning. Sian.


Got home and was the first. So got to do all the house work.sian!haa. Felt kind of lonely perhaps it’s the silence that causes it. Then, the thought of getting married in a few years time make me ponder how life will be. If I’m home before my hubby, I’ll definitely feel lonely and start missing home. I’m sure to miss the amount of noise pollution we have at home. Though it’s a small 3-room flat, it’s a cozy place that filled with so much arguments, happiness as well as sorrows.

I didn’t really have my dinner. I’m a weird freak! Haa. I won’t buy my own dinner cos I’m sick of the food I see here in PP. Or is it pure lazy? Then back at home; I’ll start searching for food, like a little rat. But..there are all biscuits, chips and chocolate. Don’t fancy any at all. So just ate the bread in the morning. Poor little lazy cow! Haa. Received a call ard 9+pm from Dear and he want me to get change and meet him downstairs. He’s bringing me to have my dinner.

Aren’t him sweet?! Awww.. I’m really blessed to have him by my side .I feel really fortune to have HIM by my side. I can’t stop saying I love him truckloads. Haa. Anyways, we went down to 147 for chicken chop. Ya, it’s sinfully to eat at this hour. But I’m kinda being FORCED to eat.haa.

After which, we head back home to slack and watch TV with family. Went back home at 11+pm. It was another blissful day, at least for the night.haa.

The thought of meeting him tonight makes my day too! Gt to get busy with my work. C.I.A.O.Z

Friday
Went to dear’s workplace at Brewrekz for his friend’s, Amelia, Birthday. Well, I met almost all of his colleagues. Cos he brought me to see most of his colleagues.haa.I’ve got a cute bf eh. Food there wasn’t that bad. I still prefer their beer thought. I like one of the beers with fruit. I forget what the name is. I’d only know they’ll have different flavors each month or something. haa. Anyways, his friends were nice. Nice meeting them. The birthday gal is nice-looking and lean! Felt a little bit of threat. haa.but, with dear’s assurance of his love towards me I felt a little better..keke.

Next, head back to his house. yeah~! mummy has officially allows me to go over to his house. but I guess not on a frequent basis. It won’t be nice to stay over so often. Though he said that his mum is rather open but I guess somehow it’s not very nice to go so habitually. But..but..I love his company! I love him so much!!


Saturday
Woke up very early. Slept ard 3am and was awaken up by my body clock on 7.30am.Went back to slp and woke up again an hour later.Head was aching so I went back to slp again. But my body clock alert me that it’s time to wake up.It was only 9.15am.haa.Dear’s still slping soundly on his mattress. Didn’t wake him up as he’ll be working later in the afternoon. It seems so much like a Sunday for me. Saturday use to be a day for us down town or something,But this Saturday, he’ll be working.It’s all my fault? Cos planned to meet up bro n friends for his 29th birthday! Haa.But was cancelled cos Raine has some event at Sentosa.

Went to Compass point for PIZZA HUT!! Pizzas are still the best at Pizza Hut. Yummy~!! Keke.Then head back home ard 3pm to study.GOD!! it’s so boring. Study all the way till night,but of cos there’s distractions.i only went through a few pages of my notes.

Was kinda upset with HIM. Well it’s bout weight issue. I guess he din mean it but the way he put it makes me feel that he mind the way I look. Ie. Being so fleshy. Suddenly, I have very low self esteem. so low that you can’t imagine. I feel so FAT and UGLY. I know I’ve put on a lot of weight this year,but nevertheless I’ve manage to shed 2~3 kg, back to the max I used to way. There’s still a long way more to go.Sigh, How I wish I can eat all I want and not grow FAT!! I hate it. Anyways,he apologize and explained that he dun mean what he say. Ya, I agree I’m totally sensitive over this issue. Cos I know I’m fat and I dun like anyone to make me feel even worst when I already know the fact.


Sunday
Went for my tax lesson today. Was good. Managed to have all information digested Cos I had a long hour of slp last night? Haa.Slept pretty early last night. Din talk to HIM cos I’m drained!

I’m missing him so much today. Cant stop thinking of him.Sigh.He’s working today, so I cant meet him up.Well, each of us has an agenda in life to fulfill.

Met mummy and the rest at Bugis. Felt kinda upset by an incident. Mummy wanted to change this present was suppose to be a gift for our new 3rd aunt but due to the fact that all relatives din give, she decided to go back to get it change with something else for anyone of us. She did ask if I want THAT but I told her it’s okie. Bcos it’s expensive I din want her to waste money.

Deep down, I hope to own it so much. I know it’s only a matter of time to get it. But each time I pass by I hope i’ll own it, one day. No one knows how much I want it. Mummy, went to buy for er jie instead. I felt rather sadden. Er jie already had one. But bcos hers was very fragile and it almost broke so Mummy got her another type which is more ‘durable’. Though er jie insist that I should be the one to buy it, I rejected.

Well, I’m someone who needs lots of love and attention. Even till now, at the age if 21 (turning 22 very soon) I’m still like a little ting who loves to be dote by mummy. However, I know it’s difficult to balance out the love to all when you’re a mother of 5. Sigh.Sometimes it’s not nice, in way, to tell her that I’m attached cos she’ll divert her love to someone else who needs it more. That’s how I perceive sometimes. Nevertheless, thinking of having HIM by my side does help comfort the gloom in me. I miss him so much I hope I can see him right now at this moment and have a big hugz from him.

I used to pray to God that, if HE’s the one I hope, we have an everlasting relationship. But now, I pray that we’ll have an everlasting relationship and hope he’ll love me the way he has always been and of cos to thank him for all that I have today.

I never know I’ll feel so much for him. So much that I’ve been missing him in almost everything I do. It’s not a good sign. Cos it’ll hurt more when things doesn’t go right. I hold very high expectation from him, sometimes. Cos he has been really nice to me b4 the time we get together. But so far he yet to disappoint me. I’m so blessed to have his love towards me. Sometimes, I think it’s rather amazing to have someone so much in love with you. But whether it last is a matter of question. I hope it does. Cos coming to think of losing it, makes my heart hurt quite a fair bit. I duno how will it be like to be without him.

He has become my pillar of strength. LOVE HIM TRUCK LOADS!!

Well, still waiting for him to ko..wanna talk to him so much~!!

yeah ~! Bf is coming to fetch me from sch later on. He'll then have to help me with my heavy bag!! so gald to be able to see him again even we just met yesterday. Missing him..lalala.

feeling so sleepy these few days.i think it's bcos of the insufficient slp on sat.haa.went for meeting today, and again, i cant control my eyes as it's being forced to close. my eyes are damn heavy, i just cant open them. so i keep on blinking n blinking as if something got into my eyes. If all else fail, i'll gey siao rub my eyes cos at least i can get it close for a while.lol. Hope no one will noe i'm feelin sleepy.haa.cant stop laughing when i imagine how funny i was.

Happy Children's Day

**hello~!** haa..i've been acting cute to my <3>

Dear have been so nice.He came to fetch me back from work (even though i've no idea wat time i'll KO he'll just walk ard bugis n wait for me!) Silly bf i've gt.but i noe he love me tons loads! i hope things wont change when we're together for long.

Human are always in a dilemma, you want him to fetch u from work but at the same time doesn’t want him to get weary. Nevertheless, I ‘m still glad that he choose to meet me! Luv luv him!!

Went to Liang Seah St for dinner. Had hor fan, but it was kinda disappointing la. (I don’t understand why lately I have been eating NOT-SO-NICE-FOOD!! DAMN IT). Next, we went down to have our desserts. (AGAIN, it wasn’t that delicious!!)

I think I’ve changed a lot after getting on with him. Last time, I will WANT to eat out at restaurants, and not these kind of places when I’m out with guys (including him) but now when I’m with him I will try not to spend too much of his money as he’s been being an understanding dear have to think of alternative eh.haa.

Alrite, I gtg. Good nite world!